Well, last night in my school of ministry class they did a baptism of the Holy Spirit altar call. I went forward, not knowing at all what to expect. I was raised in a church of Bible thumping Pharisees and really don't know much about how the Spirit works at all. They anointed me with beautifully scented oil and laid their hands on me and just prayed that the Holy Spirit would fill me and give me boldness. One guy was praying in tongues, another guy in Spanish. I felt kind of filled up I guess. The guy praying in tongues told me that although I didn't feel anything he could physically see that the Spirit was upon me. I was, though, pretty disappointed that someone who was asking as sincerely as I thought I was could be left out to dry. I looked at the cross on the wall and thought to myself, "it's failed experiments like this that cause people to lose faith and give up."
After I had helped stack up chairs and put some tables away, a guy came up to me. I think he was the one praying over me in Spanish, but I'm not positive. His name just happened to be Angel. He told me that he wanted me to know that he had asked and asked and asked for the Holy Spirit to fill him and had always been disappointed. Then he finally learned what it meant to be filled with the Holy Spirit. That it wasn't a feeling. It was an experience. And he realized that he had been filled all of those times he had asked, but he had not recognized it. And now that he recognizes it, he knows that God never let him down, not once. I thanked him and left.
When I was driving home, the smell of the oil filled the car (although I smelled my hands where he had put the oil and they didn't smell like it anymore). I felt absolutely alive. It was such a rush. I lost myself in the smell and in the words "Thank you Spirit". It was what I would imagine being high is like. For about five minutes. It was beautiful. And I thought to myself that if this is what heaven is like for eternity with God, I will most definitely not be bored. It was a fabulous experience. And then, like Moses' shining face, it faded. It faded, but it still hasn't left completely. I do think I have a bit of boldness that was not there before. More love and courage to reach out to those around me. The power of the Spirit is the power for ministry, and maybe the reason I've been dry for so long is because I've been running from ministry.
I've been running for too long. Last night, God literally sent an Angel to tell me to stop.
After I had helped stack up chairs and put some tables away, a guy came up to me. I think he was the one praying over me in Spanish, but I'm not positive. His name just happened to be Angel. He told me that he wanted me to know that he had asked and asked and asked for the Holy Spirit to fill him and had always been disappointed. Then he finally learned what it meant to be filled with the Holy Spirit. That it wasn't a feeling. It was an experience. And he realized that he had been filled all of those times he had asked, but he had not recognized it. And now that he recognizes it, he knows that God never let him down, not once. I thanked him and left.
When I was driving home, the smell of the oil filled the car (although I smelled my hands where he had put the oil and they didn't smell like it anymore). I felt absolutely alive. It was such a rush. I lost myself in the smell and in the words "Thank you Spirit". It was what I would imagine being high is like. For about five minutes. It was beautiful. And I thought to myself that if this is what heaven is like for eternity with God, I will most definitely not be bored. It was a fabulous experience. And then, like Moses' shining face, it faded. It faded, but it still hasn't left completely. I do think I have a bit of boldness that was not there before. More love and courage to reach out to those around me. The power of the Spirit is the power for ministry, and maybe the reason I've been dry for so long is because I've been running from ministry.
I've been running for too long. Last night, God literally sent an Angel to tell me to stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment